Who cares how you get there...

I always seem to have a new plan, a new adventure. Nothing ever goes as planned. That’s what makes my life so entertaining. But one plan that I have always stuck to has been to be one of the first women in my family to graduate with a bachelor degree.

Since leaving my house summer of 2005 I have moved 15 times (not counting the 5 times I moved to different areas in my mission). I went from California to Idaho to Utah to Idaho to California to Idaho to California to Idaho to Utah to Virginia to Utah to Argentina to Virginia to Utah to now back to Idaho.

In the mean time I have either been working fulltime, going to school fulltime or part time of each. Not really sure of when or where I was going to finish school I just kept following my heart to certain places but I always knew that I wanted to finish school.

In the book “Leading with the Heart” Coach K talks about the importance of preparation and planning. “They have to plan and prepare for every phase, and then remain flexible when things don’t go exactly according to plan. Every long-term strategy must be adjustable and people on the team must be prepared accordingly.”

I have had to be flexible in my life, I have chosen certain roads that may not have been the best decision but I had to live with them. I never really fully lost my way, the long-term goal was always set and coming this December I will finally reach that goal and graduate!

5 Fundamentals to Having a Succesful Team

Right not I am reading “Leading with the Heart- Coach K’s Successful Strategies for Basketball, Business, and Life,” written by Duke’s head coach Mike Krzyzewski with Donald T. Phillips.

Just so you all know… I am most definitely a UNC fan but I saw this book at the store here on campus and couldn’t resist reading a little more about leading from one of the greatest college basketball coaches of all time.

I want to share with you some insight that I read today and really enjoyed how to build a more unified team.

He compares a team to a fist. On the court there are 5 players at each time, just like 5 fingers. With 5 small fingers a fist is made a little easier and is tighter then to have 5 big fingers. He talks about egos of players and how at times he would rather have 5 players that are considered less-talented who work as a team than to have to work with talented individuals who can’t seem to come together as a team.

He then brings up 5 fundamentals, if practice can make a team great: communication, trust, collective responsibility, caring, and pride.

COMMUNICATION is key, we all know that, but what I love is that Coach K says “people learn how to think by communicating”. Though most people can communicate, leaders cannot assume that they will. They must teach people to communicate, train them to. When each person is able to communicate different sides are brought to the table and problems may be more easily solved having seen more than just one side to the story.

TRUST, “there are no words more important than trust”. In order for there to be success a high level of trust must be achieved first. To build trust a leader must be honest with himself and the members of his team. Straightforward face-to-face communication is something I feel we lack in our society at times. We are scared to stomp on toes or to hurt people’s feelings. Plus we lack being honest with ourselves, we fear failure and putting our weaknesses out there for people to see but I feel when we hold back we hold back the opportunity to learn and to build meaningful relationships.

COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY can be tough. It is so easy to put the blame on others, I recently have done it. Generally speaking the first thing we do when we are called out on a mistake is get defensive and think of all the other people who may have been involved so that we can pin it on someone else. A team that truly cares will all step up to the plate and take responsibility for each other.

CARE, it’s not just about caring for people as people, but also caring about how you perform. Coach K says that “caring can be a powerful motivational factor”. We must care about those around us and ourselves which leads to the next fundamental:

PRIDE. When many hear the word “pride” they instantly have negative thoughts, but a little bit of pride really can help a team succeed. We need to take ourselves, our jobs and our dreams seriously. We must give our best in all that we do.

FOR ALL YOU CRAZY GIRLS

CRAZY BREE

That was a nickname given to me my very first year up here at BYU Idaho while playing in the basketball league.

CRAZY and Bree have been put into the same sentence on numerous occasions. Whether it be for my overly talkative ways, my awesome dance moves, my stalker methods for my roommates and friends (oh and maybe myself at times) or for my boldness and fearless ways, many have had the same thought “dang that girl is CRAZY!”

One type of crazy I never want to be is that CRAZY type in relationships. You know that type, the girl who changes her mind everyday with what she wants. The one who will make out with you and then the next day say she never wants to talk to you again. The one who says she can handle certain things/situations but then all of sudden she can’t. She becomes an emotional roller coaster, a wreck.

I am sure many of reading this just had a name of some girl cross your mind because there are plenty out there. A guy once told me that every girl is CRAZY but the question is how CRAZY is she and can you handle it?

Why are we girls CRAZY at times? Why do we read into everything and allow our emotions to control us in so many aspects of our lives?

A lot of it has to do with estrogen, or that time of the month. Some of it at times is just the princess in us who gets frustrated when she doesn’t get what she wants.

Mostly a girl gone CRAZY is product of a relationship that goes against her natural instinct. Let me explain. We as women need the upperhand. The door must be open, the dinner must be paid for, and the kiss must be right and often. We need to be wanted and it needs to be clear that the man would choose us over anything else, that he will take care of us.

Basically we go CRAZY because the man is not giving us what we need.

Now I am girl who loves to take control. I don’t mind getting a boy to ask me out. I don’t mind encouraging the conversation or even preparing a dinner for the first date. I do believe that there are roles but you don’t have fit the mold of what society believes men and women should be.

BUT we are still women. And women need to be wanted and it needs to be clear that the man is willing to fight tooth and nail for her. It is not natural for us to fight to start a relationship, even when we want to (oh, and I have tried).

So why do we go CRAZY? Because we don’t believe he will fight for us. We see that we have lost the upperhand and so badly want it again. So we try and fight to get back in that place and when we don’t our emotions kick in and we realize that we are losing so we go into survivor mode.

We then have to decide if we are going to continue fighting. If we fight we possibly can win but if leave we possible can find that man who will give us the upperhand. Thus is the battle that rages on. We have to decide whether we will continue to fight. We want to, so we try, but then we realize it goes against everything we are intended to be which is completely admired by the man we are dating or married to.

We are in an emotional battle which makes for an awesome rollercoaster but can definitely leave u feeling sick. This is when she is fickle and indicisive. One part is telling her to fight and the other is telling her to leave and gain the upperhand somewhere else.

The world may see this girl as CRAZY due to the indecisiveness or the constant calls, text messages, or the random yelling match in the middle of a party with all close friends. But really this CRAZY girl is just trying to get her position back, just like mother nature intended her to. And most likely she has been lead to believe (by the man) that at one point she could win this battle.

Now, men, do you want to have this CRAZY girl in your life? No, so let me suggest something. Decide what you want and be clear about it, CLEAR AS GLASS. If she likes you and you do not see it going anywhere BE CLEAR, do not let her think there is a chance. Cause if she thinks there is a chance she will try to fight and when she has lost the upperhand she will go CRAZY, its inevitable.

So either just gives us the upperhand or choose to completely seperate yourself because most likely she can't just hang without wanting to fight to win you over and then the battle over what she wants and what mother nature intended will continue.