Your will or His?

Me and my comp Hna Admundsen making a contact in the street.

I chose to go on a mission, a decision that was incredibility hard for me considering I was in love and wanted to be married. But deep down I knew what the Lord’s will for me was and even though it was not exactly my desire, I had to go.

Once I made the decision to go I felt peace in my life, something I had not felt for the year prior to that. I was excited to get to work, to face the challenges that lied ahead and I knew that the Lord would be on my side.

I worked hard. I gave it my all, at times falling short and at times failing but I feel as though I pushed it till the very end. I saw miracles happen in my mission. I saw lives literally change over night. I was an instrument in God’s hands and I loved every minute of it.

I have now been home almost a year. When I first came home I had this excitement for life and what was to come. I made goals and promises so that I would not loose that missionary spirit and drive. I started off strong. With a plan set I was ready to face all the challenges that lied ahead.

But reality has set in and failure after failure has come. With little money, heartbreak after heartbreak, living far from everyone in the family, I have felt lost and broken. Don’t get me wrong, many things have been great but I have left them on the back burner while trying to seek my will and what I desire next for my life.

Today a good friend shared with me Helaman 10:4-5:

"4aBlessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with bunwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine cown life, but hast sought my dwill, and to keep my commandments.
5And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that aall things shall be bdone unto thee according to thy cword, for thou shalt dnot ask that which is contrary to my will."

What touched me is how the Lord is pleased with our work but at the end he reminds us to not go contrary to His will. We must ask of Him in faith for the things that we desire in our lives but they must be His will.

Have you felt as though you have given Him your all but have not received much in return? I think we need to ask ourselves “why?” Are you living according to His will?

I realized how I have lost myself in my own desires and therefore have found myself in a state of unhappiness. It is time to get back on track. And now we must live “not as I will but as thou wilt.”