"Lost Boy" Sudan Documentary Part 1

today i am feeling extra grateful for...

water

clothes

food

shelter

family

friends

school

work

the list could go on a on.

we all face challenges and often times lose sight of the things that continue to go right in our lives.

check out how these "Lost Boys" of Sudan survive some extreme conditions and hopefully we can all be more grateful for what we have been given in our lives...

True Love

growing up watching chick flicks i created my personal definition of "love".

the heart wrenching, blood flow stopping, butterfly feeling in the stomach is what made me fall in "love" boy after boy.

but if it was love, why didn't it last?

because true love takes time.

and to be REAL it needs to be continual, it needs to last.

"True love is a process. True love requires personal action. Love must be continuing to be real. Love takes time. Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love. How hollow, how empty if our love is no deeper than the arousal of momentary feeling or the expression in words of what is no more lasting than the time it takes to speak them."

(Love Takes Time; Marvin J. Ashton

i often wonder why it is that relationships don't last.

did they really love each other?

i think they think they do. they feel something that is different and unique, infatuation/stimulation.

but when that is gone what is left? the opposite sex who smells bad, can't dress, says embarrassing things, struggles in making decisions, is too emotional, too careless, the list can go on and on.

so how do you continue to love? how does one ever really find TRUE LOVE?

"Love demands action if it is to be continuing. Love is a process. Love is not a declaration. Love is not an announcement. Love is not a passing fancy. Love is not an expediency. Love is not a convenience."

well i, like many of you, am still trying to figure it out.

i am currently in the "process".

maybe this time around it will last...

First Kiss

I was 13 years old.

I was the new girl in West Linn Oregon, we moved in about 3 weeks prior. The new house was perfect, the best room being the theater in our basement, you know the kind that has dark walls with no windows and couches.

To avoid watching the Super Bowl on Sunday my dad and brothers decided to tape it and invite the young men and their leaders to come over and watch the game at our place.

I did everything I could to get invited to watch the game, in the end I don't think I was ever invited to watch the game I just made myself at home.

I distinctly remember trying to sit next to the cutest boy in the room, we are going to call him Ivan. I squeezed myself on the end of the couch next to him and began pretending that I was really interested in the game.

My left hand rested directly over my knee, available if at any moment Ivan wanted to hold it. As the game progressed I got MY game on with Ivan and got to talking and joking with him. Soon enough our hands were touching, then holding.

I remember looking up at him as we were talking about something and then it happen, he just LAYED one on me, he kissed me! My first kiss, right there with my brothers, dad and members of our ward in the same room. Sparks flew and for a second I thought we were the only ones in the room.

Feeling a little overwhelmed I whispered to him "I have never done that before" and while whispering I glanced up and saw the young men's leader staring down at me. What a great way to start my reputation in the new ward. News traveled fast in that tiny room and by the end of the night everyone had known that Ivan and I kissed.

The story gets better. The next day I went to school a new friend of mine ran up to me with fear in her eyes and asked "did you kiss Ivan this weekend?" A little surprised that news had traveled so fast but oblivious to what information was coming next I responded joyfully "yes!". I had already been dreaming about that kiss, thinking about the next time I would see him, most likely planning our future relationship, sounds like a typical girl eh?

She proceeded to tell me that he had a girlfriend who was in our stake but went to the other middle school. I was mortified. How could it be that my first kiss ever was with a boy who was committed to someone else. I felt sick to my stomach. Needless to say Ivan and I never kissed again and it took a long time before I could gain the trust of that girl.

A lesson you think I would've learned is that you should know someone better before you kiss them. Sadly it has taken many many years for me to learn that lesson.

Many more kisses and heartbreak stories to come! Join me on my journey to find that frog who will hopefully turn into my Prince.

MIRACLES HAPPEN

I hadn't had any recent lessons with the missionaries and the investigator I told you about (he had cancelled a few). So when I saw them walking the other day I took whipped the car around and stopped them.

You could tell that they were having a rough day. I spent the next 15 min giving the boys a little pep talk. I reminded them that if they really believed it they could see miracles. I even offered to feed them the next day which apparently was a blessing to them. They had no meals this week, which seems ridiculous considering it's REXBURG.

They went on there way and I went on to find out investigator, he wasn't home but his brothers gf filled me in on some info that made me sad. I went home, prayed for these missionaries and investigator. About 2 hours later I got this text "bri-we found our miracle". Tears fell has a feeling of joy flowed through my body.

The next day I grabbed Five Guys and headed to the park to feed them. They told me how they had texted the whole zone to pray for a miracle and every companionship called them to fill them in on a miracle. I heard all the companionships view on a miracle. Some of the stories reminded me how miracles can be something as little as someone listening.

While we were sitting there eating guess who rode by on his bike...the investigator we have all been looking for. The elders taught a lesson and we could all see that he is still progressing well and ready to prepare for baptism.

Miracles happen everyday you just have to believe it.

Advice from Elder Busche and Coach K

I absolutely LOVE this video. It has gotten me through some of the toughest times of my life. It really puts things into perspective.

Elder Busche says in one part of this advice "When you cannot love someone, look into that person's eyes long enough to find the hidden rudiments of the child of God in him."

I thought about this quote when reading from Coach K's "Leading With The Heart" book. In there he states "If you always look into your players' eyes-whether it's victory or defeat-you're going to get the most out of your profession." He found that as he did this there relationships were stronger and more unity was formed.

Gary Lewis producer and event coordinator for many celebrity functions was asked while here on BYU-Idaho campus, "how do you network?". He replied with something many of us business and communication majors did not expect, "Now I don't know what networking is, but I know how to build relationships." Gary is the type of guy who looks you straight in the eye, almost intimidating, he asks you direct questions and really wants to know the answers. He seeks for the child of God in every person.

These are people who have really embraced the idea that we are all children of our Father in Heaven. They have found that when seeking to understand and embrace each child of God success has found them and the love they have for others has grown.

"I am a child of God"

And so is everyone else...

We Problem Solve People

"What do leaders do in a crisis situation? They stay calm, stay focused, stay positive, stay confident, and utilize their best people," said Coach K.

Often times in a crisis people tend to freak out. They see all that is going wrong and jump to intense mode because they feel that if they don't they wont be able to get down everything they need to.

This season with the basketball league I had a saying we used everytime we got into a sticky situation, "we problem solve people" and for some reason it made everyone take a deep breath and find a solution to the problem.

I find that when you take a calm approach to a crisis situation more is able to get done and though things may not go as planned you can always find a way for them to work themselves out!

Answered Prayers

Beautiful Rexburg Temple

Remember my experience with trying to find the Spanish Branch in Rexburg?

On Friday I was headed out to do a session at the temple when my roommate asked me to wait for her and do initiatories instead of an endowment session. I crashed on the couch for a bit waiting for her but I was happy I didn't have to ride my bike up the exhausting hill to the temple.

We opened the doors to the temple and an Elder looks at me like he knew me and says "hey! you're home!"

I looked at him completely lost and then read his tag which was in Spanish. I forgot that he mentioned he knew me and was instantly happy to see them considering I have been wanting to help in anyway I could with the Latin members in Rexburg. He told me they weren't who I was looking for because they are in the Driggs area.

I then inquired more about how he knew me, he looked familiar but I couldn't remember anything about him. He seemed to remember lots about me from before the mission. Apparently we were in the same ward when I got my mission call.

Small World.

Even though they are in Driggs I offered my assistance on any lessons or activities. They took my number and then informed me of a fireside that was to be held in the Visitors Center at the Idaho Falls Temple.

After begging tons of people to go with me (my car is still broken down in Utah) I got a ride to the fireside and I am so grateful I had that opportunity.

With all the Spanish Missionaries in the Pocatello mission, Emeritus 70 Elder Hammond, members and a good friend of mine I enjoyed one of the more spiritual nights since being home from my mission.

I met investigators and members. I was able to bare my testimony in a language I have grown to charish. Doors were opened to future opportunities to teach a people that I feel so connected to. I felt that joy again that I felt daily on my mission.

I am so grateful for the people the Lord continues to place in my path and the doors that are being opened for me to grow and remember the experiences on my mission so that I can continue to be a member missionary.

I Am Grateful To Have Been Picked Up On At The Gym

My First day in the MTC

Within seconds of walking into the gym I caught a set of eyes checking me out. As many of you already no I am EXTREMELY observant. But the thing that caught my eye about this boy was that he is black. Here on campus (sadly) there are not many black men and I thought I had been introduced to everyone of them and have seen them regularly, but this one had a familiar face. It was familiar but I felt like I hadn't seen him in a while.

After walking past I took a look back at him and then to my surprise he totally just waved at me. I then took the hint and walked over and asked "have we met before?" He looked at me all crazy and I realized he really was just trying to hit on me and didn't recognize me from anywhere. Right then it all came back to me...

2 years ago in the MTC I was teaching a young black man from New York on the phone (you missionaries remember the RC? Word is they shut it down at the MTC, I was devastated to hear that). This man on the phone said he didn't think there were any black men in the Mormon church. I had noticed the black elder who walked in the room just before he had said that to me and I responded "funny that you say that because there is a missionary in here right now that could clear up that miss conception". I then begged the elder to get on the phone with this young man. At first reluctant and almost offended that I asked he took the phone. Come to find out this young elder was heading on his mission to New york! They had a great conversation and this elder took his information down and promised me he would take care of him when he got to the field.

When he got to the field he contacted him a few times but he didn't live in his mission so he was unable to teach him. Today, this young man informed me that he still has this guys' number in his journal. I have been wondering how I could contact this man again and now the opportunity has risen! I love that the Lord always remembers us, He will never leave us alone.

Not only do I have a way to contact an old friend but I have made a new friend. He is even adopted by a white family which I am sure my nephews would love to get to know someone who shares a similar story to theirs. The Lord is willing to place people in our lives who will bring joy as long as we are willing to be open to those opportunities when they arise.

Missionary work in Rexburg??? YES!!!

Some of my favorite people to teach. I loved connecting with people in the service of the Lord.

For a while now I have wanted to go to the Spanish Branch here in Rexburg. On Tuesday I looked up the address and everyday I thought about going to the branch. I was so excited. I woke up early on sunday and set out on my 5.5 mile bike ride to the building. Sadly I never found the church building and instead rode 11 miles in the sun on a beach cruiser. Needless to say my rear end was hurting and I was so sad I never got there.

Today while on a run I saw the missionaries at a picnic table in Porter Park. I decided to run over and ask them where the building was for the Spanish Branch. They gave me the info of the Spanish Elders. I then rudely asked them what they were doing (cause it seemed to be they were wasting time in the park). They informed me they were teaching Madison, a young man who wants to be baptised and his inactive brother would be there too with there girlfriends. They told me they were from the BAY AREA so I asked if I could stay considering I would have a connection with them.

Madison came over without his bro but his bro's girlfriend showed up. They started the lesson which was on the priesthood. They asked me to explain what it is which was really hard to do considering I haven't taught in almost a year. I just kept my mouth shut most of the time. Madison talked about how he understood better the priesthood and he is excited to be baptised.

I then couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer and I asked Madison "how do you really know it is true". He then explained that he has been to other churches but has never felt the way he does in this church. He said he just feels good. I looked into his eyes and said "Remember that feeling Madison, because Satan is going to work hard on you and try to convince you that that feeling isn't enough. Yuu must read and pray everyday so that feeling stays." Tears began to form as I testified and I felt the spirit confirm the truthfullness of my words. Madison looked at me and said "thank you".

I talked with his bros girlfriend Jenni and invited her to church, she asked for my number and said she wants to come. They set up the next meeting for this Thursday and Madison looked at me and said "You have to be there, Bree". My heart was so full and I of course said I would be back.

IT WAS AN AMAZING NIGHT. I have been feeling like something is missing in my life lately and I have been reminded what it is, the lack of service, missionary work, and testifying that I have had in my life. Yes, my fulltime mission is over but EVERY MEMBER A MISSIONARY is now how I should live.

I know that God lives, that Christ suffered for our sins. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God who translated the Book of Mormon which testifies of Christ. The priesthood is back on the earth and because of it you and I can be saved in the waters of baptism!

Now I understand why I couldn't find the church building, because if I had I would've never been able to have this experience.

Coach by NOT Coaching

In chapter 8 of Coach K's book he talks about "Game Day" and how crucial it is that a coach is ready and willing to make adjustments.

What touched me most was when he said "sometimes you need to coach by not coaching". He shares a few experiences where his teammates stepped up to the plate and created solutions to problems.

A great leader is someone who is able to lead by not leading at times. Someone who is ready to adjust when things aren't going as planned. A leader allows his followers to take the initiative and be problem solvers. A great leader wants his followers to be even better than they are, therefore the must give them opportunities to grow.

Christ taught us to be perfect like Him and His Father are perfect (2Ne 12:48). If we are to become like them, we must be given that chance. Our Father has taught us the ways, he has instruments in our lives who guide and direct us but the pathways are meant for us to walk.

As followers we must be ready to step it up and as leaders we must be able to step back and let our followers take the initiative. Yes, a plant needs water and sun but too much of either can keep the plant from growing, sometimes you just got to let it sit but its self and watch it grow all on its own.

Sometimes coaching without coaching is the only way to see if what you are teaching is being learned. "Teach them correct principles and let them govern for themselves."

Yes, I have ADHD

When I tell people that I have ADHD I just know that some of their first thoughts are "everyone thinks they have ADHD, it's just in your head."

I have to say I agree. It is in my head and that is the problem. But one thing that is important to know is that it is an imbalance that at times I really don't have control over.

ADHD is real and sometimes it takes more than just controlling your thoughts.

I always wonder how it is that people can sit and focus on one thing for hours at a time. Or how they just relax and not think about anything. Or how they can put a thought or idea they had on the back burner and not think about it until it is time.

I found out last fall that I am an extreme case of ADHD. After looking into it further my life makes so much sense!

Finally I realize that I am not dumb, I am not lazy, or a failure. I just now understand that I am a little different than others and I just need to find my niche and figure out how I am going to turn this "weakness" to a strength (Ether 12:27).

Let's journey together to better understand ADHD. Do you have any good information?

http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/learning/adhd.html

Your will or His?

Me and my comp Hna Admundsen making a contact in the street.

I chose to go on a mission, a decision that was incredibility hard for me considering I was in love and wanted to be married. But deep down I knew what the Lord’s will for me was and even though it was not exactly my desire, I had to go.

Once I made the decision to go I felt peace in my life, something I had not felt for the year prior to that. I was excited to get to work, to face the challenges that lied ahead and I knew that the Lord would be on my side.

I worked hard. I gave it my all, at times falling short and at times failing but I feel as though I pushed it till the very end. I saw miracles happen in my mission. I saw lives literally change over night. I was an instrument in God’s hands and I loved every minute of it.

I have now been home almost a year. When I first came home I had this excitement for life and what was to come. I made goals and promises so that I would not loose that missionary spirit and drive. I started off strong. With a plan set I was ready to face all the challenges that lied ahead.

But reality has set in and failure after failure has come. With little money, heartbreak after heartbreak, living far from everyone in the family, I have felt lost and broken. Don’t get me wrong, many things have been great but I have left them on the back burner while trying to seek my will and what I desire next for my life.

Today a good friend shared with me Helaman 10:4-5:

"4aBlessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with bunwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine cown life, but hast sought my dwill, and to keep my commandments.
5And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that aall things shall be bdone unto thee according to thy cword, for thou shalt dnot ask that which is contrary to my will."

What touched me is how the Lord is pleased with our work but at the end he reminds us to not go contrary to His will. We must ask of Him in faith for the things that we desire in our lives but they must be His will.

Have you felt as though you have given Him your all but have not received much in return? I think we need to ask ourselves “why?” Are you living according to His will?

I realized how I have lost myself in my own desires and therefore have found myself in a state of unhappiness. It is time to get back on track. And now we must live “not as I will but as thou wilt.”

Who cares how you get there...

I always seem to have a new plan, a new adventure. Nothing ever goes as planned. That’s what makes my life so entertaining. But one plan that I have always stuck to has been to be one of the first women in my family to graduate with a bachelor degree.

Since leaving my house summer of 2005 I have moved 15 times (not counting the 5 times I moved to different areas in my mission). I went from California to Idaho to Utah to Idaho to California to Idaho to California to Idaho to Utah to Virginia to Utah to Argentina to Virginia to Utah to now back to Idaho.

In the mean time I have either been working fulltime, going to school fulltime or part time of each. Not really sure of when or where I was going to finish school I just kept following my heart to certain places but I always knew that I wanted to finish school.

In the book “Leading with the Heart” Coach K talks about the importance of preparation and planning. “They have to plan and prepare for every phase, and then remain flexible when things don’t go exactly according to plan. Every long-term strategy must be adjustable and people on the team must be prepared accordingly.”

I have had to be flexible in my life, I have chosen certain roads that may not have been the best decision but I had to live with them. I never really fully lost my way, the long-term goal was always set and coming this December I will finally reach that goal and graduate!

5 Fundamentals to Having a Succesful Team

Right not I am reading “Leading with the Heart- Coach K’s Successful Strategies for Basketball, Business, and Life,” written by Duke’s head coach Mike Krzyzewski with Donald T. Phillips.

Just so you all know… I am most definitely a UNC fan but I saw this book at the store here on campus and couldn’t resist reading a little more about leading from one of the greatest college basketball coaches of all time.

I want to share with you some insight that I read today and really enjoyed how to build a more unified team.

He compares a team to a fist. On the court there are 5 players at each time, just like 5 fingers. With 5 small fingers a fist is made a little easier and is tighter then to have 5 big fingers. He talks about egos of players and how at times he would rather have 5 players that are considered less-talented who work as a team than to have to work with talented individuals who can’t seem to come together as a team.

He then brings up 5 fundamentals, if practice can make a team great: communication, trust, collective responsibility, caring, and pride.

COMMUNICATION is key, we all know that, but what I love is that Coach K says “people learn how to think by communicating”. Though most people can communicate, leaders cannot assume that they will. They must teach people to communicate, train them to. When each person is able to communicate different sides are brought to the table and problems may be more easily solved having seen more than just one side to the story.

TRUST, “there are no words more important than trust”. In order for there to be success a high level of trust must be achieved first. To build trust a leader must be honest with himself and the members of his team. Straightforward face-to-face communication is something I feel we lack in our society at times. We are scared to stomp on toes or to hurt people’s feelings. Plus we lack being honest with ourselves, we fear failure and putting our weaknesses out there for people to see but I feel when we hold back we hold back the opportunity to learn and to build meaningful relationships.

COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY can be tough. It is so easy to put the blame on others, I recently have done it. Generally speaking the first thing we do when we are called out on a mistake is get defensive and think of all the other people who may have been involved so that we can pin it on someone else. A team that truly cares will all step up to the plate and take responsibility for each other.

CARE, it’s not just about caring for people as people, but also caring about how you perform. Coach K says that “caring can be a powerful motivational factor”. We must care about those around us and ourselves which leads to the next fundamental:

PRIDE. When many hear the word “pride” they instantly have negative thoughts, but a little bit of pride really can help a team succeed. We need to take ourselves, our jobs and our dreams seriously. We must give our best in all that we do.

FOR ALL YOU CRAZY GIRLS

CRAZY BREE

That was a nickname given to me my very first year up here at BYU Idaho while playing in the basketball league.

CRAZY and Bree have been put into the same sentence on numerous occasions. Whether it be for my overly talkative ways, my awesome dance moves, my stalker methods for my roommates and friends (oh and maybe myself at times) or for my boldness and fearless ways, many have had the same thought “dang that girl is CRAZY!”

One type of crazy I never want to be is that CRAZY type in relationships. You know that type, the girl who changes her mind everyday with what she wants. The one who will make out with you and then the next day say she never wants to talk to you again. The one who says she can handle certain things/situations but then all of sudden she can’t. She becomes an emotional roller coaster, a wreck.

I am sure many of reading this just had a name of some girl cross your mind because there are plenty out there. A guy once told me that every girl is CRAZY but the question is how CRAZY is she and can you handle it?

Why are we girls CRAZY at times? Why do we read into everything and allow our emotions to control us in so many aspects of our lives?

A lot of it has to do with estrogen, or that time of the month. Some of it at times is just the princess in us who gets frustrated when she doesn’t get what she wants.

Mostly a girl gone CRAZY is product of a relationship that goes against her natural instinct. Let me explain. We as women need the upperhand. The door must be open, the dinner must be paid for, and the kiss must be right and often. We need to be wanted and it needs to be clear that the man would choose us over anything else, that he will take care of us.

Basically we go CRAZY because the man is not giving us what we need.

Now I am girl who loves to take control. I don’t mind getting a boy to ask me out. I don’t mind encouraging the conversation or even preparing a dinner for the first date. I do believe that there are roles but you don’t have fit the mold of what society believes men and women should be.

BUT we are still women. And women need to be wanted and it needs to be clear that the man is willing to fight tooth and nail for her. It is not natural for us to fight to start a relationship, even when we want to (oh, and I have tried).

So why do we go CRAZY? Because we don’t believe he will fight for us. We see that we have lost the upperhand and so badly want it again. So we try and fight to get back in that place and when we don’t our emotions kick in and we realize that we are losing so we go into survivor mode.

We then have to decide if we are going to continue fighting. If we fight we possibly can win but if leave we possible can find that man who will give us the upperhand. Thus is the battle that rages on. We have to decide whether we will continue to fight. We want to, so we try, but then we realize it goes against everything we are intended to be which is completely admired by the man we are dating or married to.

We are in an emotional battle which makes for an awesome rollercoaster but can definitely leave u feeling sick. This is when she is fickle and indicisive. One part is telling her to fight and the other is telling her to leave and gain the upperhand somewhere else.

The world may see this girl as CRAZY due to the indecisiveness or the constant calls, text messages, or the random yelling match in the middle of a party with all close friends. But really this CRAZY girl is just trying to get her position back, just like mother nature intended her to. And most likely she has been lead to believe (by the man) that at one point she could win this battle.

Now, men, do you want to have this CRAZY girl in your life? No, so let me suggest something. Decide what you want and be clear about it, CLEAR AS GLASS. If she likes you and you do not see it going anywhere BE CLEAR, do not let her think there is a chance. Cause if she thinks there is a chance she will try to fight and when she has lost the upperhand she will go CRAZY, its inevitable.

So either just gives us the upperhand or choose to completely seperate yourself because most likely she can't just hang without wanting to fight to win you over and then the battle over what she wants and what mother nature intended will continue.

Jokes on YOU!!!

So every Monday night for a Mormon is what we like to call FHE (Family Home Evening). Up here at BYU Idaho we do FHE every Monday night and at times it can be a little awkward because you have to have a pretend family with people you may not know and may not like. I have had some great experiences and other TERRIBLE ones. But this semester I LOVE my FHE group.

Our "brothers" are the kind of guys that every girl needs in their life. They are dependable, fun, smart, spiritual and just amazing. We always have a blast together and look forward to our forced hang out time.

Tonight we decided to play a nice little trick on them. Katie had the idea to have a scavenger hunt competition but while they got into their competitive mode we would sneak into their apartment and rearrange the furniture. We began the hunt pretending like we were heading out as well. We hopped in the car and headed over to their place and this is what we did.

This is us after our little adventure of rearranging the boys place. I wish I had a picture of their faces when we showed the pictures of what we did on our scavenger hunt.

One thing is for sure, they were SHOCKED that we pulled it off because they had no clue. Though we had fun and we are happy now, we all admitted we are concerned that we may have opened a can of warms with these boys...

Let the pranks begin!

Our Hands His Hands, Our Hearts His Heart

My heart is full.

Recently I have met some truly amazing people who have been a light and beacon in my life to guide me to coming to closer to my Savior.

One in particular has opened eyes to so many things. When I first met him I thought he was just another one of the party guys. We ran into each other a few times on campus but never really hung until a couple weeks ago. Since then my life has been enrichedly blessed.

Mind you I did have to remind him the importance of being a gentleman, like opening the door for a lady ;). But he has taught me so much more.

Tonight he reminded me of what it really means to be a disciple of Christ. He talked of how important it is that we remember that gossiping, back biting or thinking low of others are ways in which we sin but we always think to look at those who drink or swear or watch inappropriate things are actually doing worse. But who is living the greater sin? I hope we can all reevaluate and seek to speak only the best of others.

But what touched me most was his testimony of love and service. I have always said that I love people and I want to serve them but he reminded me that I still have much more to give. He testified today of how he thinks real love is when you are willing to give up some of your own blessings to others who are in need. When you want others to reach success even if means succeeding you. He has become this in so many ways, he serves others in many ways that some might not see. He is an example of charity, the pure love of Christ.

As he testified my heart was touched so deeply. I could feel his love and desire to be a servant of our Savior. I felt privileged to be sitting next to someone who is striving to become more like Christ. He shared this video with me today, check it out! I hope we all can seek to find the good in others, to speak good things of them and find ways in which we can serve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9NJf7ZglU8

Happy Bday to my SIL Lindsey

This is my awesome SIL Lindsey and today is her 32nd bday.

She is an amazing sister, friend, mother, wife, and cheerleader!

Whenever I am feeling down she is who I think to call. She has been there through the thick and thin in my life, through breakups, mission trials, school, and just those tough days.

She is my cheerleader, she sees the best in me and gets excited with me on my triumphs. When I call to tell her about some boy she pretends as though its going to be the best ever even if she knows next week I'll be calling her about some new one.

She is an amazing mother and has withstood some tough trials to have the blessing of motherhood.

She teaches with boldness and love, making you want be a better person.

She is an extremest and I LOVE IT.

She loves my brother and constantly shows it. I can't wait to have a relationship like theirs.

She is my best friend and I love her.

Happy Bday Linds!!

Not One, Not Mine

D&C 38: 27

"I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine."

Why is it that it is so hard to accept this doctrine? It is so much easier to look out for number one. Even though we have seen in our lives how banning together and becoming one can truly benefit us we still choose to look out for ourselves.

What I think it is is fear, we fear that if we don't look out for ourselves then we might lose out on something but we are promised differently in Matt 10:39 "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it".

If we could just put aside our own desires and look to giving all that we have to God and serve His people we will be able to obtain oh so much more.

BE ONE

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

Sadly I am not near ANY family and missed out on being there for the celebration of half my families birthdays. I even forgot what day it was and didn't say "Happy Birthday" to my dear sister Haylea.

So here is a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Chris, Brandon, Haylea, and Hanna (future sister)...

FOOF (aka SUPERMAN)

April 12, 1989


Chris is seriously awesome.

He grew from being the loner kid in the corner that was fine with being by himself and his ninja turtles to wanting to become Superman and developed into a friendly, social, jock who accepted and loved everyone. Man this kid is a constant example to me. We wrote each other on our missions and his letters really pushed me to want to be better and he continues to be a light in my life.

He will be getting married this August and I'll admit I am little jealous but can't wait for him to embark on this amazing part of his life!

Until I meet the man of my dreams Foof is my Superman who constantly reminds me of what is important in life and how I can do and become anything I want. I love you Foof!

BRANDON

April 20th, 1983

Brandon is one of the most giving people I know.

We grew up fighting each other. We use to go at it! At times we still do but these days they are more discussions. Brandon can debate ANYTHING with ANYONE but he will walk away as if the discussion never happened. He doesn't hold anything against anyone. He literally lives "what happens on the court stays on the court". Speaking of court, Brandon is a baller, he can make threes all day. One time we played on a team together where we had to plat 4 against 5 and thanks to his skills we still beat the team like 98 to 54.

Brandon would give all that he has to help out someone else. He is the type to just pick up the tab at dinner, to invite others to his house to stay when having a rough time, or to just give a ride when needed. He is an example of love and service.

These days Brandon is a State Farm agent and continues to travel due to his success. I love you Bro!

HAYBAYBAY

April 26th, 1992 This girl should be the older sister.

Even though I am 5 years older and technically she should ask me for advice I find myself turning to Haybay to help me in all aspects of my life. She has great common sense and really knows how to help people to think logically. She has some of the best dating advice, I just need to actually listen!

Haylea knows how to overcome the difficulty's of life and has grown so much in the past few years. She always seems to get back on her feet. I envy this girl in so many ways and wish that I could be more like her.

Hay is making her way into the State Farm agency and just passed the test to be a certified insurance agent. I love you Haybaybay!!!

CHRIS' HANNA
April 27th, 1990

This is Hanna, according to my nephews "Chris' Hanna". She is GGGGGREAT.

Hanna and Chris were high school sweethearts. Chris has been in love with this girl for years and has waited patiently for her to decide to marry him.

When I first met Hanna I thought she hated me and of course being as bold as I am I just strait up asked her if she did. She didn't know what to say to this crazy girl thinking something that never even crossed her mind. I don't know if it is possible for her to hate anyone. She is so sweet and loving. We even loved her so much that invited her to family things when Chris was gone on his mission.

We LOVE Hanna and are excited to have her in the family! She is finishing up in Math Education at BYU in Provo and will most likely be Chris' suga momma!

I love you Chris' Hanna!!!

Oh come on boys...

Boys, when do you become men? They say a mission is what helps you mature and grow. Is that true? I continue to be proven over and over again that that is not the case.

I just have to blog about this even though it may make things awkward if this guy reads this blog.

Last night I asked a guy to come help me out with a proposal because I have never written one and this guy seemed to be the perfect candidate. Plus he is cute and has impressed me time and time again. You could say I had a crush.

He seemed happy (considering he has made an effort to visit me at work and hang with me I knew that he would want to help ) and I was excited to have him over. So he came and brought a side kick cause I guess he isn't ready to roll alone.

When they came in I could sense right away that he didn't want to be here. Now I will admit I am much more sensitive to things like this, it's what I love to study. I observe and read into actions.

About 20 min into being here and with no progress on my proposal I watched this young man reach into his pocket, grab his phone and send a text over to his side kick. Wanting to be wrong I watched intently his side kick and within seconds he looked at his phone then looked up and quickly engaged even more into the convo. The sidekick was smooth but I knew in just a few minutes he would make the move to leave. All the meanwhile I was trying to make awkward conversation with the boy that was suppose to help me.

Recognizing that I was right I decided to just start pushing them out. I was done. I am the WORST girl to try and beat around the bush with. This is what I study and I am fully aware of people and their actions. Having ADHD allows me to be aware of numerous convos in one group situation. They left and I after venting for a little while I got a pity text from this boy apologizing for not being able to help more.

His side kick kindly stopped by later to drop off an example proposal to me and of course I had to call him and his buddy out. At first he lied and said that didn't happen but I in fear of being wrong and looking like the girl who reads too much into things I dug a little deeper and found that I had observed that situation perfectly. Side kick was shocked at my awareness level of the situation and informed me that his friend said he was not feeling well and had lots to do and instead of informing me of this used his side kick to get him out of the situation.

All this boy had to do was tell me he wasn't feeling well and couldn't stay long. Some of you may think I am taking this way to personal and being way too sensitive.

I don't think it is too much to ask that boys step it up and are honest with women. We really just want you to be honest. We can handle it. At least I can because really I'd rather hang with people that want to hang instead doing it out of pity. I really don't need your pity.

Sunday Will Come

Have you ever had a bad week?

What a dumb question, of course you have unless you are one of those kind of people that are overly positive and no matter what happens it's a great day (people like that are just TOO much, it is OKAY to have a bad day and enjoy your favorite comfort food).

I have had plenty of bad days, weeks and even months.

Watch and listen about the Savior and His bad week where He suffered for ours.




Though we may have had bad weeks, Sunday Will Come. Our Savior suffered, bled and died, but He rose again. Because of this we can rise above our adversity and though it seems like Sunday will never come, it always does.

I am so grateful for my Savior and all He suffered so that I may be forgiven and live again.

Easter Sunday I love and thank you for reminding me of our Savior Jesus Christ and that Sunday Will Come.

LOVE my new roomies

After a long week of new classes, teachers that try to scare, schedule changes, work, basketball stuff and cray girls yelling at you in class weekend nights with awesome roomies and chick flicks are WELL needed.

I live with five awesome women. People who make me wanna be better and that I can seriously just crack up with.

Good girl friends are not easy to come by but I have gotten lucky and I feel truly blessed!

Always an obstacle...

So the other day I shared with you three goals that I wanted to achieve this week...

1.) Finish the Book of Mormon
2.) Pass up all sugar offers except frozen yogurt
3.) Read "Leadership and Self Deception"

The first two are done and I am feeling good! Going off so much sugar has made me feel so much better, one step closer to loosing that mission weight (I know I don't have an excuse anymore its been 10 months!!).

But the third is now giving me a head ache... I only had 40 pages to go and I can't find the book ANYWHERE!

There always has to be some sort of obstacle when trying to achieve your goals...

A Friend, A Mentor, An Example

This is one of my best friends of all time. Her name is Paige and she is AMAZING!!!

When her and I first met I really didn't think we would become as close as we did. Again, I was CRAZY and Paige, she was...one of the most proper, reserved and well spoken girl I had ever met.

I think I was a little too much for her at first and all the girls in our apartment thought that we would get along the least but we proved them wrong.

Our friendship began with philosophical discussions in our living room where we discussed the deepest feelings of our souls, our issues with politics, boys, school, and mean people.

She taught me how to cook, how to clean, and even helped me to write better.

She inspired me everyday to be a better person, to be more educated.

She still does that.

I recently had lunch at our old spot which is now Costa Vida (oh, how I miss Bajio!).

We swapped stories about life and shared our concerns.

She was inspired today with her thoughts and feelings. She told me some things I needed to hear and helped me to get focused on the changes I need to make in my life without even knowing it. She didn't preach or give me advice, she just shared her experiences that resonated in me.

I left feeling happy and excited to continue on my journey here in Rexburg.

These are the type of friends people should have.

I love this girl.

I LOVE BYU-IDAHO

This picture is a good representation of me a few years back. This is Fall semester of 2005 at BYU-Idaho with a bunch of the girls in my apartment complex. Notice the other girls are leaning away as I try and force Whit to take a picture. This was pretty common. People let me do my thing but didn't always want to be associated with it. Including:

• Dancing on cars


• Hitting on boys constantly


• Jumping in the middle of any circle formed at a dance party


• Driving crazy when its snowing out


• Skipping class because I was tired from staying up all night


• Grabbing every ones attention by my booming voice


• Putting off any responsibility I had unless it was a social thing


• Getting the cops called on

I was CRAZY and had a hard time changing. I wanted attention, I wanted to be heard. I may have done it the wrong way and I was rebellious but deep down I was searching for something and I wanted to be good.

Even though I had no desire to be here I decided to come BYU-Idaho. It was the best thing I did for myself. Here is where I have found myself. I found amazing friends and teachers who helped push me to be better and eventually support me in one of the BEST decisions I could've made which was serve a full time mission in Argentina where I learned so much more.

Though I loved it here, I didn't want to come back to Rexburg in fear that I would be too old for this place. I headed for Provo where I thought I would stay but as time got closer to the winter semester I couldn't deny the spirit any longer and I came back.

BEST decision. I have grown so much since being here. I have found my niche. I have been able to turn my energy into good by being involved. I have had opportunities to lead in numerous campus activities. I even have been able to use my booming voice to MC shows and participate in presentations...

This is me now (don't mind the "mean face" like my sister in law said we are just concentrated on the comments of the people)...

I have a testimony that BYU-Idaho prepares you for the future. It pushes you to be better, to progress every day. But more importantly it helps you become a disciple of Christ.

I LOVE BYU-IDAHO

PULLING TEETH

I date...

A LOT.

I am still looking to fill that empty spot in the picture!

I have gotten good at asking questions, keeping the conversation flowing, getting rid of awkward silence. At times it feels like I am pulling teeth.

But I am getting SO tired of it. The same type conversations which usually end up with talking about our dating history somehow and how neither one wants to be hurt, blah blah blah.

Tonight I had a great time. It wasn't a date. Just a random meeting through a work dinner I had. At first I was impressed, then I was bored (he seemed dry and BORING, and I was PULLING TEETH for a little while there) but by the end of the night I couldn't get enough of the conversation.

We talked about ways in which we wanted to make BYU Idaho a better place. We added experiences from the mission and life that have helped shape our views. It was so refreshing. At one point I smiled all giddy just thinking about how great this conversation is and he stopped talking knowing my thoughts were headed somewhere other than his thousandth idea on how to change the world. Though I was a lot to take in with his excitement about all the things he wanted to do it was SO NICE!!!

Now, if you (the guy I was with tonight) is reading this. Don't get any ideas that like I am in love with you after one date. Just relieved to know that quality conversation still exist and that I don't always have to feel like I am pulling teeth!

To achieve or not to achieve...

This is me on my mission... I was crazy on my mission. Not like I was before where I was fun and danced all the time but where I was so focused and driven that nothing could stand in my way to achieving certain goals.

Since being home setting and achieving goals has been much more difficult. I don't set aside 30 min every night to plan or 3 hours all in one day to plan for the week anymore. Instead I just plan any second I can and try and write down the plans when I get a second.

So I have decided to set a few short term goals, easy goals to get me back on track. By Tuesday (before m first class) I must:

1.) Finish the Book of Mormon (30 pages)

2.) Finish "Leadership and Self-Deception"

3.) Pass up all sugar offers (unless its frozen yogurt)

I feel like these are some good achievable goals for this week. Feel free to ask me how I am doing on them.

HAPPY BDAY DIDDY

This my dad on his 50th birthday. He spent the whole day on the couch while WE enjoyed rock band and his birthday treats.

Today is his birthday and he is spending it in the hospital. Double hip replacement. In the words of my nephew Gavin "gdiddy got new hips for his birthday". He survived and we are just waiting to hear from him and how it all went down.

If only you all knew how amazing my dad is. He is the most loving and kind man I have ever met. If ever I am feeling down I can call him. He gives the best hugs and best advice. He thinks of others first and serves will all his heart. I love him so much and couldn't ask for a better dad!

HAPPY BDAY DIDDY!!!!

love,

Your Paingle

Sun Rise v.s Light Switch

My sister in law Lindsey (check out therhouse.blogspot.com) prepared an awesome lesson for her young women. Unfortunately only two showed up, little did she know that much of who she was preparing for was me...

Elder Bednar gave a talk called "The Spirit of Revelation". He says we want revelation to come to us like a light switch in the words of my SIL "BOO-YA". But really how revelation comes more like a sun rise. It takes time, line upon line.

This is hard to accept in our day. We are a generation of high speed, fast past life style. My nephew while turning on my laptop kept yelling "NOW, NOW, NOW" trying to command the computer to turn on as it was slowly booting up.

We want answers to come now and want them to be the answers we have already made up in my mind. But look at how beautiful a sun rise is.



What would you choose... A light bulb or this?

I am not perfect in remembering that the sun rise is the best especially when things are not going how I would like them to. Sometimes I wish I could just get the light switch turned on and know exactly who my hot hubby will be or where I will be when I graduate but I do know that Heavenly Father has a plan. The sun will rise and clear the clouds one day but for now I am going to enjoy the ride and just know that the sun will soon be shinning brightly from above.